Dating violence is controlling, abusive and aggressive behavior in a romantic relationship. Dating Violence can happen to anyone- adult women and men, teenagers, people who are mentally and physically disabled, and the elderly – regardless of race, sexual orientation, gender identity, ability, or economic status.

People stay in abusive relationships for many reasons including: fear, belief that their abuser needs help and will change, and because they care about the person.

What is Dating Violence?

An abusive relationship has an imbalance in which one person tries to gain power and control over the other through threats, emotional/verbal abuse, or physical or sexual violence.  It can include:

  • Physical violence
  • Sexual violence
  • Stalking
  • Verbal, emotional, mental/psychological, and/or economic abuse
  • Threats, pushing, punching, slapping, strangulation, shouting, and/or name-calling
  • Harming or threatening to harm children or pets, and other violent or intimidating behaviors
  • Isolation from family and friends
  • Rarely a one-time occurrence, dating violence usually escalates in frequency and severity over time.
  • Abusers batter to control and dominate their partners

*Information obtained from the NH Coalition Against Domestic and Sexual Violence

What do you do if you are in an Abusive Relationship?

Dating Violence victims should be highly involved in choosing what actions need to be taken.  Whatever steps are taken, the primary concern for everyone involved is the victim’s safety.

  • If you are in immediate danger
    • Call 911 to notify Law Enforcement
    • Contact the Campus Safety Department by:
      • Using a Code Blue Phone
      • Emergency line at (603) 224-3287
      • Office line at (603) 230-4042
  • If you are not in immediate danger you may contact:
    • Law Enforcement
    • Contact the Campus Safety Department by:
      • Using a Code Blue Phone
      • Emergency line at (603) 224-3287
      • Office line at (603) 230-4042
  • If you have been injured can seek medical treatment.
  • You can tell family, friends, neighbors and co-workers about what has happened
  • You can attend a support group for survivors of relationship abuse
  • You can create a safety plan for whether you are leaving or staying in the relationship
  • You should document everything:
    • You are encouraged to save and date any threatening letters, voicemail messages, emails and/or social media posts from the abuser as these can be used for future legal action or can serve as evidence that an existing civil protection order was violated.
  • You are encouraged to contact their telephone/wireless service providers get an unlisted/change telephone number and to report threatening calls.
  • You are encouraged to block or change social media account information to deny access to their abuser
    • Do not record any conversation without telling the abuser he or she is being recorded beforehand.  It is illegal to record someone without his/her knowledge/consent and renders such evidence useless.
  • You are encouraged, when feasible, to change the locks of their home and/or car.
  • If you do not have a cellphone should consider obtaining one.
  • Law enforcement agencies log complaints each time they receive a call.  Request a copy of each report.

Obtaining a Protection Order:

If you would like to obtain a Protection Order against your Abuser you will need to contact the local District Court where the Abuse occurred.  If you contact law enforcement they can assist you with information on obtaining a Protection Order.

  • Once you petition the court you may be granted a temporary order of protection.
  • You will be provided a hearing date.
  • Protection Orders should specify restrictions at NHTI if both parties are students.
  • Obtain and keep copies of warrants, protective orders, court orders, and any other legal documentation
  • It is important for Dating Violence victims to obtain any police report number, court docket or file number of their complaint so they can follow up on the complaint

Dating Violence Services and Resources at NHTI:

  • The NHTI Campus Safety Department may assist you in contacting law enforcement if you wish to report a Dating Violence Incident, violation of a Protection Order and/or need information on obtaining a Dating Violence Protection Order
  • Dating Violence victims are encouraged to provide the Campus Safety Department with any information regarding a Dating Violence incident/order and are only able to honor Protection Orders if a copy is on file with the department:
  • Please provide Campus Safety with a photocopy of:
    • Bail Conditions
    • Temporary and/or Final Protective Dating Violence Orders
    • Photograph or physical description of the offender
  • The Title IX office and/or Campus Safety may open a Title IX investigation if the CCSNH Sexual Misconduct Policy was violated. Please refer to the NHTI Title IX Resource Page for more information.
  • The Campus Safety Department will provide Dating Violence victims with:
    • Alternative parking arrangements
    • escorts on campus
  • Dating Violence Victims should also be referred to NHTI Health and Counseling Services
    • They will consult with any student who discloses they are a victim of Dating Violence.
    • NHTI Health and Counseling Services Information Page
    • Referral information for follow-up assistance will be provided.

Reporting Requirements by School Officials

Staff and Faculty and those designated as Campus Security Authorities who receive information that an individual is being abused are required to report it to the Title IX Coordinator or Campus Safety.

NH RSA 169-C:29 requires victims of Dating Violence who are under the age of 18 be reported to specific authorities.

NH RSA 161-F:46 requires victims of Dating Violence who are 18 years of age or older and is referred to under Division of Elderly and Adult Services guidelines as dependent on others to manage personal, home, or financial affairs or as a vulnerable person that it be reported to specific authorities.

Persons who do not fall into any of the categories, but are victims of Dating Violence must be asked whether they object to having their injuries reported to the police.

Reference the List of Crimes that Must be Reported Page for legal requirements for reporting Dating Violence, specifically in reference to Child Abuse and Neglect and Protective Services to Adult Sections

Being a victim of dating violence is not your fault. Nothing you say, wear or do gives anyone the right to hurt you.

If you think you are in an abusive relationship, get help. Talk to someone you trust like a parent, professor, counselor, co-worker or campus safety. If you want help deciding whom to talk to, call the Dating Violence Hotline at 1-866-644-3574. They are available 24 hours a day and you can speak to someone anonymously. Speak with an NHTI counselor, they can provide additional resources to you.

If you have been a victim of dating violence, you might think it’s your fault. You might feel angry, sad, lonely, depressed and confused, feel helpless to stop the abuse, and feel anxious, not knowing what might happen next.

GET HELP

  • Let friends/family know you need help.
  • When you go out, let someone know where you are going and when you will return.
  • Go out in a group or with another couple.
  • In an emergency, call 9-1-1

Who You Should See on Campus:

Anyone who is a victim of dating violence should report the incident to one of the following people:

Vice President of Student Affairs  (603) 230-4040
Director of Counseling Services (603) 230-4043
Director of Residence Life (603) 230-4044
Director of Campus Safety (603) 224-3287
Director of Health Services (603) 230-4043
Title IX and Equity Coordinator (603) 271-6484 x4128
Residence Directors
Any Resident Assistant

Other Resources the Victim May Choose:

Dating Violence Hotline1-866-644-3574
NH State Police9-1-1
Concord Police9-1-1
Concord Hospital(603) 225-2711

Campus Safety
31 College Drive
Concord, NH 03301
(603) 230-4042
Fax: (603) 230-9303
Email